I Was Brave
“Today we survived nearly 10 miles of the Kern in just under 5 hours…from just above Lake Ming all the way to Manor Street…including going around two weirs (kind of like a dam with a spillway all the way across) and an area with rocks across the whole river,” a victory I boasted inwardly on June 30, 2019. This feat was exciting and daunting all at once. Even though we were kayaking in a relatively safe area, the thought of recent drownings in the river had loomed in the back of my mind.
My husband and I had planned this adventure for a few weeks. We discussed where we would enter and where we would land. We took the kayaks out in a calmer area to get a feel for them. We bought life jackets. The day before the great adventure we scouted out possible landing areas and saw there was at least one weir that we could not pass and suspected there might be more. One area we looked at had rocks across the entire width of the river. If we continued past that area, we would have to go over these rocks. The thought of those rocks, along with the reality that this river is extremely dangerous, became a hurdle that I built up exponentially in my head, causing me great distress every time I thought about having to go over them. After some discussion, we decided we would land in an area a couple of miles past the rocks. Part of me wanted to call off the whole thing, but I had to much emotional energy invested, not to mention too much pride to admit my fears.
The day had arrived. I entered the water first, passing a sign that warned to enter at our own risk. As the current pulled me toward some small trees I slightly panicked, wondering if I had made a horrendous mistake. I paddled around the trees and calmed down slightly as I entered the current. I prayed a frantic prayer for God’s protection. A little farther down, the current pushed me toward a tree, and I had to duck to keep from getting knocked off the kayak. As we passed the campground at Lake Ming we saw Search and Rescue, likely performing a training based on their demeanor, and more important, they saw us kayaking right past them. All along the way I continued to pray for our safety. This helped a little, but the looming thought of the rocks brought me more anxiety for the first half of our kayaking adventure than fun.
When we approached the rocks, I tried to follow my husband from one side of the river to the other, but the current was too strong, and I ended up going sideways into a tree…not helping my nerves in any way. I pulled on the tree and tried to push my way forward around it. My strength was no match for the current as it pushed me back. I struggled for as long as I could hold on, but the branches slipped through my hands. I found myself going backwards towards the rocks…nerves catapulting inside of me. Somehow I was able to quickly turn myself around on the kayak, with the back of the seat folded down and my legs over it, no way to support my back so I just laid down and looked up as I rode over the rocks…full of prayers and pleading to God to keep me safe…and thankfully without incident I survived!!!
Looking back at the rocks after I passed over them, I realized I had built this up to be so much more than it was. Looking back, I could hardly tell that there were even any rocks there. I felt a little foolish for allowing the fear to escalate to the point that it robbed me of the thrill of the adventure. The rest of the trip was so much more enjoyable because I knew the area of my biggest fear was behind me.
This made me think about how often I build things up in other areas of my life…focusing on the “what if’s” and feeding the fear. How often do I miss out on God’s best for me because I listen to the lies of the devil telling me I can’t? The Bible warns us in John 10:10 that “the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy,” which he did to me that day. But thankfully John also offers the promise from Jesus: “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” God’s word repeatedly reminds us to “Fear not” and promises that He will “never leave us nor forsake us.”
On June 30 I was brave…even (especially) when I didn’t want to be. Even more important I was prepared. I journeyed into this adventure with my partner, with a sturdy kayak, a life jacket, drinking water, anticipation of having to go around at least one spillway, sunscreen, an attitude of prayer and dependence on God’s protection. There were some areas of somewhat rough water, some obstacles, smooth areas and beautiful scenery.
If we approach life this way, prepared for the possible obstacles, anticipating some unexpected roadblocks and an attitude ready for fun and adventure, our days will be filled with more positivity than negativity and anxiety. Each act of courage will serve as a stepping-stone for future events where fear stares us down. So be brave…be prepared…face your fears…invite God on your adventures…and live life to the fullest!!!
Dear Lord, thank You for the numerous reminders that You will never leave me nor forsake me. Please help me to look to You each time I face rocks in my path. Please fill me with the courage I need to conquer every giant the enemy throws my way. Help me to remember that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Amen.
Verses for reflection:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 NIV
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1 NIV
I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 ESV
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 NIV
