A New Normal

There are only a handful of days that I can recall so clearly as if they happened yesterday…my wedding, the days my children were born, my daughter’s wedding, the days my grandchildren were born.

There are even fewer days that have captured the attention and memory of the nation…celebrity deaths… presidential elections…Super Bowls…9/11.

Oh, I remember that one vividly, at least the first part of the day. September 11, 2001. That morning I got up, rushed to get my kids ready for school and dropped them off before I rushed to my dad’s house to get to work. I was his bookkeeper.

He met me at the door and asked if I had heard the news. I was clueless. He told me our country had been attacked. I followed him to the living room. We sat there together watching the news as reports came in.

I was in utter disbelief. How could this be? This was America…the USA…the United. States. Of. America. War didn’t happen on our soil.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I sat silently numb. Just an hour or so before I was frantically scrambling to get to everywhere I needed to be as time was passing by faster than my schedule had room for. And suddenly time just stopped as images were repeated through the newsfeed on TV. Images that would continue to repeat through the newsfeed of my memory. Everything else that from that day is a blur.

Over the next few days fear and panic emerged from the threat of war on our soil, and the reaction of our government. This fear found its way into my soul, piercing my sense of well-being. Travel was shut down, and communication was not as advanced as it is today. My mom and granny were on an Alaskan cruise and we had no way to get ahold of them. I feared for their safety. Financial infrastructure was shut down. We were purchasing a vehicle and our loan was delayed. I feared that we might not be able to get the vehicle after all. The media reported the possibility of more attacks, speculating which locations might be vulnerable, including schools and areas of large crowds. I feared that my children’s safety might be compromised. Fear was either in the forefront or the back of my mind…every single day.

Let me digress for just a minute to share a little about myself here. A few years ago, I participated in a discipleship class at church regarding spiritual strengths, not to be confused with spiritual gifts. The class explored 34 themes of strength and included a test to help you discover your top five personal strengths. Not surprisingly, my number one strength was empathy, which basically means that I am prone to feel what others are feeling. In fact, I can almost always put myself in the shoes of others and not just imagine how they must feel, but wholeheartedly feel how I imagine how they must feel. I rejoice with others. I mourn with others. And everything in between. My son even nicknamed me tears because of my inability to hold back the waterworks!

So, back to 9/11. As the days and weeks went on so did the news coverage. I didn’t personally know any of the victims of the terrorist attacks, but I cried with each story I heard. I didn’t personally know any of the victim’s families, but I mourned with them. Each and every day I mourned. The more I watched, the more I spiraled. The more I spiraled, the more I watched. It was a vicious emotional cycle. I tried to pull away, but I was broken, right along with the rest of the nation. I hurt. I felt fear. I felt anger. I felt helpless and hopeless. I wore all of these emotions on my sleeves as I tried to find normalcy.

Eventually, stories of patriotism and national pride began to replace the horrific scenes on TV. We became the “VERY” United States of America. Our colors ran deep as we supported the families of the victims and the first responders, and each other. Tragedy touched our land, but resiliency and decency prevailed as Americans banded together. And eventually, life got back to normal…sort of.

The effects of 9/11 still linger today. Travel is different due to TSA, security checkpoints and items banned from carry-ons. The threat of terrorists on our soil is no longer unheard of, and dare I say somewhat common. We now live under the advisement of Homeland Security. Our privacy is challenged thanks to the Patriot Act. Essentially it seems as if we have lost a sense of national innocence, not to say that America was actually innocent before. One thing is for sure, our “normal” definitely became a “new normal.”

And now fast forward to March of 2020, where tragically political and social divisiveness have become “the norm.” Several events and attitudes have brought us here…school shootings, bombings, social movements, political gunslinging and more. Too many incidences for me to mention individually, but collectively they have brought us to a time where kindness and decency all too often have taken a back seat to personal and political agendas.

America all too often seems more divided than united. Fragile. Vulnerable. And once again at war. But this time, the enemy isn’t Al Qaeda, ISIS, any other terrorist group or even each other. This time the enemy is invisible, and its attacks are much more widespread.

The COVID-19 pandemic initially appeared to be an overexaggerated threat that several people didn’t take too seriously. Many believed that because this virus was mainly overseas it didn’t pose any real widespread threat to us here in America. Humbly, I admit that I too felt much of the initial reporting and reactions were merely hysteria, and greatly exaggerated. I now realize just how mistaken I was. This microscopic pathogen has now swept across not just our country, but the whole world.

The COVID-19 virus not only poses a debilitating threat to our physical health, but the emotional implications are astounding. Fear is prevalent wherever you go. The media feeds the fear with entire broadcasts and continuous livestreaming devoted to the dire statistics. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer and canned foods have become coveted commodities that are hoarded more and more as pictures of empty store shelves are plastered across social media. Fear overwhelms with the heightened uncertainty of financial futures, social distancing and the absence of other social norms.

If I’m not careful I know I will find myself as a casualty of the hysteria. My nature is to get sucked into the endless indwelling of information…some good and some bad…while trying to distinguish the difference…mourning over each story, stomach churning with each statistic reported. If not checked I will begin to focus on the gloom, and then spiral as I did in the days following the 9/11 attacks. I will allow panic to take the place of responsible concern and let the emotional what if’s override reality. I know I don’t want to go there. I refuse to go there.

So, what’s a girl to do? What are any of us to do?

For me, the first thing is to take a breath…not just a literal breath, but an emotional breath…a deep cleansing spiritual breath…and be still. Exodus 14:14 reminds us that the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

In a time where so much seems to be out of my control, I can choose to turn off the news, stop constantly scrolling through my social media and open my Bible. By placing my attention on the Lord first, I can reclaim control over my reactions and emotions. And if I start to become anxious, I can take another breath, and be still again, and again, and again.

This doesn’t mean I don’t care or have compassion with what’s going on throughout the world. I believe it is important, even necessary, to be abreast and concerned, for my safety and the safety of others. However, it is critical not to become so consumed with minute by minute updates that my mental health is compromised.  Afterall, empathy is my primary strength so it’s not even possible for me to not care, but almost certain that I will succumb to an emotional collapse if I constantly fix my eyes on the chaos.

Social distancing is also important. This one can be very hard. People were designed to be social creatures, even introverts like me! Like millions of Americans I find myself at home most of the time lately. At best, work is limited, and retail therapy is nonexistent. Church and family gatherings are on hold for the unforeseeable future, except through Zoom, Facebook and other sharing platforms.

Just as I need to “be still” and limit my exposure to current events, I also need to be responsible with the content I personally share. With more and more friends online, including kids who would normally be at school during the day, I feel I have a social responsibility to not add to the hysteria or feed the fear that plagues the internet. I can choose to share positive messages instead of negative posts and articles. I have to remember that even seemingly innocent or informational posts can trigger fear and depression in others.

Instead of publicly criticizing and berating the officials for their words and actions I can lift them up in prayer, even if their views differ from mine. I can assume that they are doing the best they can with the information and supplies they have available to them. Even if they are putting their agendas first, I have to know that my prayers will do more good than public scrutiny. I can only imagine how much better America would be if all Christians prayed before they posted.

I can heed the advice from James 1:19…My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

When I do go out in public, I can offer genuine gratitude to the retail workers, first responders and medical professionals for being vulnerable and putting the good of the public above the safety of themselves. I can respect the space of others and keep my distance from them. I can choose to not hoard items in an effort to help others be able to find what they need more easily, limiting the amount of times they need to go to the store and risk exposure. I can share a smile and kind words regardless of how I am treated or how much turmoil might be stirring inside me.

So once again I find myself in utter disbelief of the events happening in our world. And I have a choice to make. I can either look at it all through the lens of fear that the devil is trying to put before me, and focus on the compounding reasons to be filled with hopelessness, or I can look through God’s prism of hope and seek out the rainbows He has placed along the path of the storm, knowing that eventually the storm will cease.

Maybe this unprecedented time is actually a gift. Not to say that the virus, or any ill effects of it are wanted or good. But what if God is actually separating the world from me instead separating me from the world? What if He is taking away all the distractions and busyness so that I can connect with Him in a deep, real and personal way that I have never allowed before? What if He is doing that for anybody who is willing to hear from Him?

Before we know it, life will get back to normal, albeit another new normal. I can only hope when I look back on this time, I can recognize it as a time where I showed kindness and light to the world and will be able to recognize how I used this time in productive ways. More importantly I hope I will recognize this as a time where God became more real, more relevant and more personal than ever, a time of spiritual growth in which I was filled with peace, joy and a flourishing faith beyond all comprehension.

Dear Lord, in this time where fear screams over the whispers of hope please help me to seek You first and hear Your voice. Use me to shine Your light to those who are hurting, tired and overwhelmed. Please be with the medical workers, first responders, truck drivers and retail workers as they serve our communities. Please keep them safe and give them the strength and support they need. Please guide the minds of the scientists as they seek a cure and be with the policy makers as they make choices for the good of the people. Thank You for giving me this time of reflection and calling me closer to You. Amen.

Verses for reflection:

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NIV

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 NIV

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 ESV

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10 NIV